For the sake of archival, I am finally ascribing the gender I created, though it is still a work in progress, as all genders are. Our relationship with it develops across time and is further refined across our reflections. But this is a part of the meaning itself of the gender, its transformation throughout iterations.
Reflecting on my gender has not been an easy task. Being a nonbinary heathen who is an affront to god, gender has been a strange thing. I did not really care about my gender, knowing it was neither male or female or anything within the supposed "spectrum" lies, but I at the same time hated the concept of such a spectrum. Nonbinary is basically the best description that I know of which implicates this disassociation with the modern misunderstanding of gender and yet people have the sheer audacity to believe that my gender can be measured or explained. Such an insult will not go unpunished.
I would think that this has been done before, most likely given the term I will be using, however, the main focus of this identity will be that of abnormality. Of something away from what could be called a gender, and yet it is a gender anyways by the sheer fact that I fucking willed it to be. Humanity, as complex as their relationship with gender is, is not reflected here. This is a gender for monsters.
I introduce to you, the Gender Abomination- otherwise currently known as Abosteic (IPA: əˌbɑstɛ.ɪk):
All together the collective meaning is equivalent to "pertaining to the absence of existence"- and right there on the tin is what this is essentially about: a gender that isn't a gender, an identity that isn't an identity, a monstrous being incapable to be perceived.
This is not a gender of self-deprecation, this is not a resigned sigh of dysphoria, this is a gender of power and pride. This is an identity of embracing the monster within, once molded and shaped to make it seem more "palatable", more "easy to understand" by those who couldn't care less, and letting it free. This is a statement of pure expression of saying that gender expectation can fuck right off. It is a gender of nonhumanity, a gender of feral rage against a system that oppresses us, and a gender of love for the abomination that has been begging to be freed.
I find this similar to Voidpunk, which is more of an identity going into being nonhuman and accepting that, and while this takes much inspiration towards that and Alterhumanity as well, this is a specific set towards my feelings of gender and my feelings of absolute, rapturous monstrosity.
And thus, I end with the flag, to properly show my feelings, with colours fivefold:
